....Goals, Motivation, Goals, Motivation....

I want to talk about Goals and Motivation today. Besides trying to focus my life and my time to be incredibly productive, I need to start making clear and attainable goals. I also feel a lot of motivation right now that I want to utilize and make the most of.

goal [gohl] noun 1. the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end. 2. the terminal point in a race. 3. a pole, line, or other marker by which such a point is indicated.

my readers should note that I would have used a wikipedia definition but today is the Wikipedia Blackout.

So, I'm going to use this definition to make three simple goals that I am going to work towards in respect to health and fitness. Simple enough right? But I need to be careful that I don't make something is measurable or I won't ever know for sure that I've made my goals. I need to also be cautious so that my goals are too low or too high. There needs to be balance or I won't push myself hard enough but it cannot be unattainable or unrealistic because I will give up out of frustration.

...the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.
1. maintain a healthy and active lifestyle
This is a pretty basic goal. I want this to be a lifestyle change not a temporary fix. This is the goal that isn't all that measurable other than how I feel I am doing. I can tell I've made steps in the right directions and that my body feels better for it. I need to continue you that so I never really know what it's like to eat buffalo wings til I'm stuffed.

...the terminal point in a race.
2. Complete all the obstacles and finish the Merrell Down and Dirty Mud Run on May 20th
I didn't just pick this because the definition includes the word race. I picked it because it's something I will be doing soon that requires full body strength and consistent training (and jumping in mud). Since my end game is a healthy lifestyle, there is no terminal point or ending to this journey.

...a pole, line, or other marker by which such a point is indicated.
3. Lose 12% Bodyfat in the next 6 months
I measured by body fat at the beginning of my XSport Fitness Orientation. Here's the catch. I forgot the number, but it is written down. So there's potential to get the number or start from today. I haven't decided which to do. The point is that I'm more comfortable putting my goal in something like body fat percentage than weight. I could lose weight but have it be muscle mass and that's not the direction I want to go. So it the interest of staying on the path I chose, I am using body fat % to guide my goals. Apologies to my boyfriend Dan who saw the word pole and thought I'd be taking pole dancing lessons.

The next thing I want to get into is Motivation for obvious reasons. Goal are only achieved given the opportunity mixed with the right amount of dedication and determination which also comes more people who motivate us.

Motivation
mo·ti·va·tion [moh-tuh-vey-shuhn] noun
1. the act or an instance of motivating, or providing with a reason to act in a certain way.
2.the state or condition of being motivated.
3. something that motivates; inducement; incentive.

I find a lot of motivation from the great people in my life; a good friend and blogger Stina and a hardly-ever blogs but still call him my boyfriend, Daniel. While their support (and the support of others) is amazing, I still can't ride my mind of doubts while I workout. But I find that images are also very helpful when trying to dig for motivation. Here are some of my favorites.

Tracking Progress on January's Goals

COL'S FITNESS GOALS for the 31 Days of January
Mid-Month Progress

I'm a day late posting the halfway progress for January's goals. Here's my progress so far.

1. Attend 9 Group Fitness Classes
averages to 2 classes a week, 1 class in the last half-week
01/03/12 - Piloxing at 6:30pm
01/07/12 - Kettle Bells Intervals at 10am
01/11/12 - Yoga class at 6:30pm
01/14/12 - Kettle Bells Intervals at 10am

Total: 4 classes

2. Run/Walk 25 Miles Total
I'm not sure if I should include miles on the elliptical
averages to 6 miles per week, 1 mile in the last half-week
01/01/12 - walked on treadmill 3.05 miles in 60 minutes
01/03/12 - walked/jogged on treadmill 1.4 miles in 25 minutes
01/07/12 - jogged on treadmill 2.8 miles in 50 minutes
01/08/12 - jogged on treadmill 1.93 miles in 35 minutes
01/09/12 - jogged on treadmill 3.4 miles in 55 minutes
01/13/12 - jogged on treadmill 1.85 miles in 30 minutes
01/14/12 - jogged on treadmill 1.5 miles in 25.5 minutes

I have to say that I'm pretty proud of the miles I've put in on the treadmill especially since I alternate between the treadmill and elliptical (while I use the treadmill more). I think I will definitely make it to 25 miles. I was particularly proud of the January 9th where I wasn't really intending to run for three miles but I was 'feeling it' and just kept going.
Totals: 15.93 miles

3. Sign Up for One Race or Fitness Event
must be before June 1st
Dan and I found the race we want to register: the Merrell Down and Dirty National Mud Run Series on May 20th. We have to register before March for the cheaper registration fee but I will probably register next week!

4. Track all workouts in some way
can be done via blogging, mapmyrun account, or something similar
So far, everything has been tracked for workouts. I was very good about tracking my nutrition and then had a crazy weekend and didn't track them last weekend.

5. Do Two Real Push-Ups
totally stole this from Stina but I wanna do a mud run and they include obstacle courses and usually involve push-ups
Did 1 push up and Dan said it didn't count :-(

6. Only Allowed 10 Meals At Restaurants
I lost track but I don't think we have stayed under 10 or will have by the end of the month. I intended this for dinner meals and not lunch and we were limiting ourselves to one lunch and dinner eaten out. We have definitely taken a step in the right direction in making most meals at home and that's what really matter, progress.

7. Meal Plan every week
While I don't expect to follow it every week, I want to meal plan every week this month and get in the habit of cooking at home and eating healthy.
Week 1, meal planned
Week 2, meal planned
Week 3, meal planned
Working on Week 4's meal plan now

2012 - Focus

Since all the cool kids are doing it, I decided to begin the year with goals centered around a one-word theme. My favorite person Stina did this with her 2011 Dedicate theme and got the idea from a great blogger Rachel Wilkerson's "Getting Some Action" post. So here is the big word:

FOCUS

I didn't like using the word focus because I kept thinking of a Ford Focus. So then I thought about Target and started to wonder if all the words in our culture are branded with a corporation!? But, I am getting off subject. I picked the word Focus because I am notorious for the variety of things/hobbies/goals that I set for myself. I set goals that trump all my other goals; I get distracted by new ideas and things.

So this year, I am going to remind myself to constantly Focus. There are two main things that I need to focus on throughout the year: the completion of my Master's Degree and implementing and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. These are not new goals or new journeys for me. I began graduate school in 2009, and the start of my healthy lifestyle began years before that. I was not able to maintain that healthy lifestyle due to drinking and partying and surrounding myself with immature and petty people. Many of those people betrayed me or hurt me.

Part of focusing on improving my life includes forgiving those past things and never allowing them to happen again. I vow to never surround myself with people who will hurt me. The moment I am hurt is the moment that person will be removed from my life. I am too important to waste my life with people who do not value me. I've taken a huge step back from drinking and partying and I've felt a million times better. Eating healthier and going to the gym has received a very positive response from body. I feel better, I think clearer, I like my life better.

So I want to keep the following list nearby by to remind myself of not just what I want to accomplish, but give myself the means and strategies to be successful. This is mentality I need to have through the good days and the bad days to keep me on track and moving towards good things.

1) Focus on what will make my body feel good, not something that only tastes good (there's a balance)

2)Focus on making time to study and work on the Masters every week. Plan your time.

3) Focus on the positives in yourself. Remember you are worth a healthy and happy life.

4) Focus on keeping meal plans and eating more natural foods.

5) Focus on destressing everyday. Don't stress the things you can't control, friends, family, work, or anything in between.

6) Focus on the friends who encourage healthy behaviors and good living. There's no need for names here. I have great people in my life. Some need my support, some give me support. But it's time to put more focus on the ones who give back.

7) Focus on yourself. I tend to insert myself into other people's problems to help out but lose myself in the process.

8) Focus your sleeping schedule. I have battled with insomnia so much in the past, but it's time to keep the good sleeping habits I've established in the last few weeks (thanks to my limiting alcohol intake).

9) Focus on the success I've already had in my life. I tend to see only negatives when I look back and it ends here.

10) Focus on one thing at a time. Live life one day at a time.

End of 2011

It's very nearly a whole new year. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing to be completely honest. But I have gone through a lot in 2011 and need to plan my journey from today forward. I am going to set some goals for the month of January. There's this girl I know. Her name is Stina, and her blog organization skills make me look like a kid drawing with crayons (I do love crayons).

I'm basically stealing her December to Remember Goals but mine has no cool and hip rhyme scheme. I'm joined up at the new Xsport in Crestwood and am dying in anticipation to get in there and work out. I've got my workout clothes all ready and waiting to abused. Here are my goals for January. I have no idea if I'm being realistic but I am setting them and going to try hard to accomplish them all.

COL'S FITNESS GOALS for the 31 Days of January

1. Attend 9 Group Fitness Classes
averages to 2 classes a week, 1 class in the last half-week

2. Run 25 Miles Total
averages to 6 miles per week, 1 mile in the last half-week

3. Sign Up for One Race or Fitness Event
must be before June 1st

4. Track all workouts in some way
can be done via blogging, mapmyrun account, or something similar

5. Do Two Real Push-Ups
totally stole this from Stina but I wanna do a mud run and they include obstacle courses and usually involve push-ups

6. Only Allowed 10 Meals At Restaurants
this may be my downfall

7. Kick Dan's ass at the Gym
little unhealthy competition can't hurt right?

I want to think that I am not over reaching on these goals except my ability to copy Stina may be extreme (too bad, Stina). I also think that if I achieve all of these things, I will have an official weighing of myself. I usually don't set goals involving weight or check my weight. I plan to set new goals February 1st and start over again. Hopefully this makes me accountable and I will get the full value of my gym membership.

I have six credits left to complete my Masters which include a Masters Thesis, an insane 40-50 page research paper. I'm excited to get all this done even at the expense of going out and having fun--personally, there is too much drama in all that business anyways.

In other news, I'll begin volunteering on Saturdays at a Chicago School and tutoring students and developing reading skills with the organization Working in the Schools. I am really excited about this chance. I've wanted for a long time to volunteer and give back to the city that has been so important in my life. I encourage my friends to find ways to volunteer and give back especially when the world and economy is so wrecked. Donating your time doesn't cost you anything and the pay off is amazing self-esteem.

decompression and reflection

By Colleen Boyle

This week has brought a lot of things to forefront of my mind. While I have been long frustrated with feeling unaccomplished, this week a lot of new reflections have been present in my mind, and its been a while since I've updated my blog.

One of the assignments that have been required in my Teaching Internship at Roosevelt University is to create a CV, Cover Letter, and Statement of Teaching Philosophy. As someone who has very little training and experience in teaching, this presents a perplexing number of internal conflicts. Though I feel very much like I have mastered skills with writing and critical literary analysis, I have very little, it seems, to offer a teaching position.

We discussed and looked at examples of the above mentioned documents in class for two weeks, and I felt incredibly incapable of creating my own version of these things. Yeah, I've written cover letters and resumes but the cover letter for a teaching job is so much more detailed and specific to something I have little experience in.

But there was no point in putting off the creation of these documents. I thought, "what do I have to lose?" especially since my degree won't be complete for another year and applying for teaching jobs won't be til Spring 2013 or Fall 2013. That seems so far away.

I wrote the CV and found that it wasn't horribly lacking anything. I may not have a lot of teaching experience, but I do actually have a lot of accomplishments on the academic level. Writing a statement of teaching philosophy was a bit nerve racking, but I completed it and felt like I was true to myself in what I said. It needs improvement, but doesn't everything?

So then I got to the cover letter. I first wrote a cover letter to a position at Moraine Valley Community College. As I wrote, I felt a great deal of pride in myself. I begin to think of the girl who went to Moraine in 2003. I was 17, and I had no clue where I would be in a few years. I wasn't entirely sure about my major, my abilities, my dreams, etc... Now I can look back and think about all I've been through and feel proud that I never quit, that I worked and paid my way to a college education, and then even had the nerve to go back for another degree. Yes, I have about $20,000 in student loans but I also have a lot of writing skills, research abilities, and now the ability to help others in their writing and academic life.

Then I think about the other things I've done. I pay for my own apartment; I have no credit card debt; and I even managed the strength to travel in Europe alone for 5 weeks without a friend in thousands of miles (though I made plenty while there). If I could go back in time and find the 17 year old me who went to Moraine Valley, what would I say to her? I would say absolutely nothing because the journey was hard but amazing. That girl was shy and unsure of what life had in store for her. I'm still a little unsure but what's the fun in having all the answers? I wouldn't be the person I am if I didn't work so hard even without knowing if I could succeed.

After reflecting back to these things, I begin to consider what lays ahead of me. It probably isn't marriage and children, and I am perfectly okay with that. Those things come to us when they want to, maybe not when we're ready but they happen when they happen. Next Spring will be my first conference presenting a paper I wrote in grad school titled "Film Adaptations reshaping gender roles and the characters of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein". And just when I began to think presenting at a conference wasn't that big of a deal, I got to see the look of pride and excitement on my professor's face when I told her about how I was presenting the paper I wrote for her class.

There is so much more to look forward to now. I want to get a paper published, complete my Master's Thesis, and volunteer to help build my CV. I'm not trying to brag or gloat about what I've done. There's still a lot to accomplish but I think it helps to stop and realize where you've been before you can move on.

I have many other things to look forward to, watching my boyfriend succeed in college and starting my career. I plan to do more traveling, keep working on making my lifestyle healthier, and somewhere down the line, apply to a PhD program. I feel like this blog has been a little long winded but I really needed to recognize all of this. I used to be shy, scared, quiet, opinionated but silent, smart but simplistic, and I have to give lots of credit to the people who gave me inspiration and support. Every bit made all the difference between failing and succeeding.

I'm not even sure if I should be saying I've succeeded but I've definitely found a path.

Let's get deep (into some literary research)

I wrote a rather extensive and long-winded email to the poor woman I selected to be my Masters Thesis Director. I already feel bad for her because she has no idea how insanely OCD I get about my research papers and how much of a crazy perfectionist I can be. So after one week of research, here are the ideas I am putting out there to help me guide my topic development from here:

I did a lot of reading this week mainly looking to secure what my primary text or texts will be. I've got some ideas that I'd like to run by you. I would have liked to get more done but had a stomach flu for a couple of days making me sleep through a lot of planned studying times.

I haven't read any of these texts from start to finish but am just trying to think about where I want to focus.

Mrs Dalloway . I began reading this mostly because its one of Virginia Woolf's most famous and often read novels. While there are a lot of ideas that come to me, I feel like I'd rather not focus on this text because it is so well known and so many scholars have written about it. Some of the good ideas or themes that I picked up on were issues of marriage, conversations between the genders with emphasis on how Woolf shifts points of view to see how men and women talk/view one another, and a lot of themes involving domestic homes and how women occupy their time (giving parties and so forth).

Although I don't think Mrs Dalloway will be my primary text, I do plan to read it through since it is well know in Woolf criticism and may bring some interesting perspective to whatever I eventually focus on.

Night and Day. Similar to the themes I found in Mrs Dalloway, I like the interesting way that Woolf handles conversations between men and women and the way she shifts narration to view these things. There is also great emphasis on time and the time of day appears to affect the mood of the characters and scene she is leading the reader through. There are also themes dealing with women's 'work' and stereotypes about how they occupy their 'time'. I think I would like to focus on Night and Day as a primary text. I am not sure if this would be a good text to compare and contrast with another Woolf novel or any short stories. I guess I need to keep reading to determine that.

I was also considering some ideas for a comparative thesis with another modernist author. I thought that Jacob's Room and A Portrait of An Artist as a Young Man may have a lot of similar and different themes. It has been a while since I have read either text but the idea occurred to me and I thought it was worth mentioning. Obviously Joyce is Irish and Woolf is British but there could be similar themes since both texts deal with a male lead character and probably a lot of reoccurring themes of time etc.

But adding James Joyce to my studies would only complicate my thesis research since I know he is a difficult author to study and read (though you could argue all Modernists are).

I started to read both Between the Acts and To the Lighthouse. I did not get very far into either but had noticed a few interesting things. Both seem to be different because they are taken outside of the city and written in more country settings. The characters also seem very different from the characters in her other novels that are located in London and a more urban, city setting.

Another thought that crossed my mind but I have not followed up on and did readings for was that Woolf wrote a set of short stories including at least one that is a ghost story. This immediately brought to mind Edith Wharton's short stories since I have done a paper on Wharton's ghost stories in the past. Whether doing research on those is a good idea, I am not sure. I know Wharton was an American author and was around the same time period as Woolf (Wharton was born about two decades before Woolf and died about 10 years before Woolf).

Okay, there are a lot of ideas here but I am more comfortable with a surplus of ideas than a shortage of them. I hate to be so long winded through email but writing out my ideas is helping a lot and is already giving me direction for what I will read over the weekend. Any feedback you can provide will be appreciated and very helpful.

Thank you so much for being the wall my ideas are bouncing off of!

Quick Blog

This is probably the earliest blog I've ever posted. But I have some quick things to think about so here I am and before I've had my waffles (already have my cup of coffee though). So, I've got a meeting with a professor to discuss my Masters Thesis topic today.

My 'starter' topic is novels of Virginia Woolf and themes of time and gender. While it's a good start, I have a feeling that it's a too broad of a topic and one that has been discussed in the context of Virginia Woolf a great deal. So, I am hoping to get more direction and learn how to narrow my topic down.

Dan is going to come with me to the city and were going to hangout downtown, walk around a bit and enjoy the city. It's going to be a fun day and hopefully not too cold.

On a bad note, I have not been jogging and exercising this week. Blame it on being a woman but its really not an excuse. Maybe I needed an off week but I gotta get back on track and soon!